Further information on viewing conditions, site index and the site Google search facility
Frost's Meditations Logo
Warning some material on this page may not be suitable for family viewing

Erotic Spanking

Erotic spanking is the practice of spanking another person for the sexual gratification of either or both parties. Mostly used for that other person pleasure (the one getting spanked). Subjects may use their hands, or other tools, such as spanking paddles or canes.

Activities range from occasional sensual interplay to domestic discipline and may or may not include a variety of implements. Many cultures recognized pain as an aphrodisiac early on — the Kama Sutra, in particular, goes into specific detail on how to properly strike a partner during sex.

Therapeutic spanking
"Whipping Therapy" in the News

Domestic discipline
Max Mosley says sadomasochistic session was 'not Nazi'
See also

A typical postcard from Victorian Britain
Representations of erotic spanking and flagellation make up a large portion of Victorian pornography (see 1000 Nudes by Koetzle, the first acknowledged homosexual spank star in 1853.) Hundreds of thousands of engravings, photographs, and/or literary depictions of spanking and flagellation ("birching") fantasies circulated during the Victorian era, including erotic novellas like Lady Bumtickler's Revels, The Whippingham Papers, or An Exhibition of Female Flagellants.


Many spankings are carried out with the use of bare hands, or with spanking implements such as paddles, straps, hairbrushes, and belts. Sometimes other implements are used for the activity: such as a cane, riding crop, whip, switch (rod), birch, gloves, a ruler or martinet. However, these would not accurately be called spanking. Erotic spankings are commonly combined with other forms of sexual foreplay, such as oral sex, sexual roleplaying and/or ageplay. The most common type of erotic spanking is administered on the bare buttocks, but can also be combined with bondage, in order to heighten sexual arousal and feelings of helplessness in the spankee.

Positions used may include:

• over the knees (OTK) or across the lap
• stooped over a chair or couch, or bench
• on hands and knees (bed or floor)
• on shoulder of spanker
• kneeling on a bed or ottoman, stooped over with hands on the floor
• bent under the arm of the spanker
• lying face down on a bed
• bent over, touching toes or over a desk
• "diaper position" (lying on back with legs raised upward and toward chest)
• handcuffed to a bed

Those interested in giving or receiving erotic spankings are sometimes known as spankophiles. Examples include the poet Algernon Swinburne (as implied repeatedly in his poetry) and the philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau, as detailed in his autobiography Confessions:

    ''... Miss Lambercier... exerted a mother's authority, even to inflicting on us... the punishment of infants... Who would believe this childish discipline, received at eight years old, from the hands of a woman of thirty, should influence my propensities, my desires, my passions, for the rest of my life... To fall at the feet of an imperious mistress, obey her mandates, or implore pardon, were for me the most exquisite enjoyments, and the more my blood was inflamed by the efforts of a lively imagination the more I acquired the appearance of a whining lover."

Spanking with a paddle in a BDSM dungeon in New York City
Spanking with a paddle in a BDSM dungeon in New York City


    Dom: The term is short for "Dominant" and refers to the person in the spanking relationship as the one who delivers the spanking. In lifestyle spanking, the Dom assumes the role of caretaker and disciplinarian.

    Implement: Refers to the object being used to deliver the spanking.

    Safe word: This is a word in which participants within a spanking session agree to use to signify that the consensual spanking should be stopped. The word is necessary because spanking frequently occurs within the context of a role play where it is typical for the spanked individual to protest.

    Spanking Session: This is the time in which the participants are engaged in the act of spanking. Some consider any role play leading up to and afterwards to be a part of the session.

    Spanko: Refers to an adult person that willingly participants in spanking activities with other consenting adults.

    Sub: The term is short for "Submissive" and refers to the person in the spanking relationship as the one who receives the spanking.

    Subspace: This is a euphoric physical and mental state achieved by the spankee during the course of a spanking session.


Adult spanking is often considered taboo and is frequently classified as part of the BDSM culture. Some participants tend to reject the classification because they see their fetish as being more mental than physical, though this in turn reflects prejudices about BDSM which covers a range of fetishes including some that are purely mental. The adult spanking community suffers from a lack of cohesive identity partly because its association with BDSM. This has resulted in a great deal of shared terminology and confusion over the difference between adult spanking and erotic spanking.


Ageplay is a type of sexual roleplay which, because of its dominance and submission aspects, is considered a form of BDSM. It may be referred to as edgeplay because of its level of social acceptability; such roleplay may involve (fictional) incest, and a common reaction is to associate child role playing in a sexual situation with pedophilia. Most sexual age players resent any association with pedophilia, and claim that neither party is encouraged to believe there is a real child involved, and that it involves two consenting adults with one expressing the assumed emotional vulnerability of a child. Age players typically use spanking as a part of their role playing activities. The use of spanking in this form is not consistent with the manner in which “traditional” spankos enjoy spanking. The key difference is that the age player is primarily concerned with playing the role of a child whereas the spanko is primarily concerned about fantasizing about situations in which spankings would be appropriate when age is part of their role play. The age player remains in the child role whether or not a spanking is part of their play.


Adult spanking is a highly contentious form of discipline spanking that is frequently mis-categorized and misunderstood. The controversy stems from a multitude of sources. First, there are those that prefer to consider spanking in this form as something that can only occur between a parent and a child. This opinion is backed up by the APA who includes parent - child relationship as part of the definition. Second, there are few recognized legitimate scientific studies that have been conducted on the subject. The leading source of funding for such research is an organization that earns its revenue through the promotion of entertainment spanking services leading skeptics to question the legitimacy of the work. Third, the lack of credible licensed practitioners often leads to individual claims of group membership through self-diagnosis, affirmation from others who have made similar claims and a variety of alternative therapists. A study by McNulty and Wardle suggests that attempts to seek help through typical support channels may lead individuals to seek comfort through unconventional means.

Adult spanking differs from traditional parent-child spanking in that the act is between two consenting adults. Adults engage in the activity for several different reasons. The most common is simply playful spanking amongst people engaging in other intimate activities. People who require spanking to be a part of their sexual play are considered spanking fetishists. There are two groups of people whose use of spanking is discipline related. The first group incorporates spanking as part of their overall belief system in how a husband and wife should interrelate.

The second group considers spanking to be an essential component of their recovery and/or development.These individuals subscribe to the notion that they require some form of retraining or reparenting to be able to function as adults. They claim that the act of spanking is a necessary mechanism for modifying the behavior of the adapted child ego state of the adult being spanked. The idea is extracted from Alexander’s claim that a corrective emotional experience was required to allow patients to repair traumatic influence of previous experiences. They claim is not without merit as preliminary studies into this class of adult spanking indicate that participants have suffered from some form of childhood abuse. However, there is evidence to suggest that these individuals are in fact “stuck” in the earlier stages of recovery and lack the appropriate support to move on.

Therapeutic spanking

Therapeutic spanking, also known as spanking therapy, is a term used to describe spanking which is given neither primarily for punishment nor for an erotic purpose. Instead, spanking is used as a therapeutic measure for its curative effects. Therapeutic spanking is usually given in a style that employs the phrases and actions of disciplinary spanking, but in a kind of roleplaying. It is fully consensual and implemented on the explicit request of a person who feels they need to be spanked.

    A. Individual sessions: A person may wish to be spanked to get rid of guilty feelings for some offense they actually committed but were not (or not sufficiently, in their own feeling) punished for. Such a spanking may follow shortly after the offense, but it is also possible to work up guilty feelings that way that go back years, possibly even to childhood. In the latter case, the therapeutic spanking may involve ageplay.

        'Probably the most important things to explain are that people who need to be spanked are not sexual deviants (they do not LIKE being spanked) and they do not think they are bad people. Quite frankly, we all have different needs.

Some of us keep "to do" lists to remind us of what needs to be done, some are motivated by setting goals and assigning rewards for reaching their goals ("When I loose ten pounds I can buy that new dress") and some simply allow themselves to be unmotivated. And some people need to be spanked. I am talking about a real, undeniable emotional need to 'correct' themselves through corporal punishment. The realization of a need for spanking usually occurs as a child, though most are too confused, embarrassed or ashamed to admit it their parents or others who could meet their needs.

An adult who needs to be spanked will seek out a partner willing to do it. Usually the emotional need is disguised as a fetish to save the spankee the shame of admitting their need. It's easier to tell a partner that you like to be spanked as part of foreplay than it is to tell that same person that you require regular spankings to feel 'normal' and function as an adult.'--

Taken from Spanking Needs 2008

    B. Long-term spanking agreements:  This approach involves spankings on a more or less regular basis. Typically, an agreement is made between the spankee and the spanker to give spankings either for agreed types of misbehavior which are in the focus of the therapy, or in sessions on a regular basis (such as weekly). It is important to note that therapeutic spanking can be given completely outside any punitive context, for example as a device to help release emotional stress and worries.

        'For some with a need to be spanked, spanking is less about punishment and more about overall motivation. For these people regular spankings (usually once a week) are given, along with a reminder of the things they need to work on. Being spanked clears their minds, allowing them to focus on things they were ignoring before. Spanking Therapy should ONLY be used on adults who have expressed a need for it. This is a relatively small number of people, and spanking therapy will not work for those who do not agree that they need it. Ideally spanking therapy should take place at a set place and time, allowing the therapy recipient to anticipate the coming discipline between sessions.  At the start of a session you should both sit down and discuss anything the spankee feels he or she has done to deserve a more harsh or lighter spanking, and then you should go over the things you want to remind him or her of, and the things you think they need to continue to work on. For example, for an unmotivated adult you may say, "I want you to continue to focus on your work, as well as keeping your personal life in order." Remind them of any goals set that have not been fully attained (weight loss, stop smoking, etc.)'

        'Deliver the spanking with no games. Counting licks and stupid chants like "please sir may I have another" distract attention away from the spanking and reduces it's effects. Ideally the spanking should be given in silence, allowing the smacking sound to be the only noise.. an audible reinforcement of the discipline. You should only speak to give necessary commands, such as adjusting the spankee's position if he or she has moved. After the spanking, you should hug the person you just spanked, and forgive them for what they did to earn the spanking with a reminder to avoid that behavior in the future. Then allow them some quiet time to think and recover from the discipline session.'--

Taken from Spanking Needs 2008

    C. The semi-erotic approach: Some adult partners also practice a slightly different sort of therapeutic spanking which is sort of "halfway between disciplinary and erotic spanking". This variant is popular as it comes with a double payoff: besides the beneficial effects on the spankee, it also is a very bonding experience between the partners. In its M/F variant,
        'Eroticism has many aspects. Erotic feelings and practices play a crucial role in Mother Nature's plan - especially in respect of love and pair bonding. Spanking contains a goodly dose of Bottom Worship - as a part of an overall tonic of meditative integration of all the life-affirming faculties of both partners. It promotes endorphin release, adrenaline, quickened pulse, raised temperature, euphoria and erotic feelings resulting from direct bodily stimulation, anticipation, being held, being subject, belonging, being protected and so on are the same as those resulting from more widely known forms of erotic and loving expression.'--
Mr Fondman 2006

    D. Medical spanking and whipping:  Whipping has long been used as a form of therapy, for example in traditional Buddhist/Tibetian medicine, or Europe from Antiquity up to the 19th century, e.g. for patients who suffered from mental diseases.

In 2005, Russian scientists reported that they found "whipping therapy" to be an effective means against alcohol and drug abuse, depression, suicidal thoughts and psychosomatic diseases. The scientists recommend the following course of the whipping therapy: 30 sessions of 60 whip lashes on the buttocks in every session.

They explain the results, which they say were "good and excellent", by the body's endorphin mechanism. In this approach, there is usually no roleplay of any kind involved. The whipping or spanking is ideally given in a non-punitive, service-like, medical manner, like a kind of skin treatment, similar to a rough form of massage.

Needless to say, by modern standards such a form of therapy which involves substantial pain must be 100% consensual and never be forced on a patient.


"Whipping Therapy" in the News:

Whipping therapy cures depression and suicide crises:The effect is astounding: a patient starts seeing only bright colors in the surrounding world

Russian scientists from the city of Novosibirsk, Siberia, made a sensational report at the international conference devoted to new methods of treatment and rehabilitation in narcology. The report was called "Methods of painful impact to treat addictive behavior."  Siberian scientists believe that addiction to alcohol and narcotics, as well as depression, suicidal thoughts and psychosomatic diseases occur when an individual loses his or her interest in life. The absence of the will to live is caused with decreasing production of endorphins - the substance, which is known as the hormone of happiness. If a depressed individual receives a physical punishment, whipping that is, it will stir up endorphin receptors, activate the "production of happiness" and eventually remove depressive feelings.

Russian scientists recommend the following course of the whipping therapy: 30 sessions of 60 whips on the buttocks in every procedure. A group of drug addicts volunteered to test the new method of treatment: the results can be described as good and excellent. Doctor of Biological Sciences, Sergei Speransky, is a very well known figure in Novosibirsk. The doctor became one of the authors of the shocking whipping therapy. The professor used the self-flagellation method to cure his own depression; he also recovered from two heart attacks with the help of physical tortures too. "The whipping therapy becomes much more efficient when a patients receives the punishment from a person of the opposite sex. The effect is astounding: the patient starts seeing only bright colors in the surrounding world, the heartache disappears, although it will take a certain time for the buttocks to heal, of course," Sergei Speransky told the Izvestia newspaper.

The whipping therapy has not become a new discovery in the history of medicine. Tibetan monks widely used it for medical purposes too. Soviet specialists used a special method of torturing therapy at mental hospitals. They made injections of brimstone and peach oil mixture to inspire mentally unbalanced patience with a will to live. A patient would suffer from horrible pain in the body after such an injection, but he or she would change their attitude to life for the better afterwards.

"People might probably think of me as a masochist," Dr. Speransky said. "But I can assure you that I am not a classic masochist at all," he added.

The revolutionary method may take the Russian healthcare to a whole new level. The method is cheap and highly efficient.

Domestic discipline

    'Such punishment should not be any form of any sensation the bottom enjoys erotically - asking you to eroticize a moderate caning today, but accept a strong caning as an aversive stimulus tomorrow, is bad psychology and bad topping.' 

By Easton & Lizst,

Spanking - a cartoonist's view
The term domestic discipline (abbreviated DD) is usually used to describe an agreement in adult relationships where one or both partners recognize a need for discipline and explicitly want the other partner to punish them for wrongdoings. The punishment methods used in domestic discipline correspond to those traditionally used by strict parents such as disciplinary spanking, corner time and other punitive, painful and/or humiliating consequences. Domestic discipline is consensual and therefore does not constitute domestic violence. Spankings in domestic discipline are consensual, but differ from erotic spankings: they are not given for the fun, revenge or sexual pleasure of either of the partners. Instead, they are thought as a form of loving but strict teaching. Spanking in domestic discipline can also be considered a form of therapeutic spanking of the punitive kind.

Typically one partner agrees to get spanked for certain offenses (breaking of rules) by the other partner. The details of for what offenses and how the spankings will be given are negotiated and sometimes put in writing in a kind of contract called a punishment agreement. An early model of such an agreement was the Spencer spanking plan. Most couples who practice domestic discipline seem to favor the M/F variant, but of course F/M, F/F or M/M are equally possible. It is also possible that both partners subject themselves to the same set of rules and consequences, in which case both will effectively give and get spankings depending on whoever breaks a rule.


Max Mosley says sadomasochistic session was 'not Nazi'
By Graham Tibbetts 07/07/2008

Max Mosley, the Formula 1 boss accused of enjoying a "sick Nazi orgy" with five prostitutes by the News of the World, has demanded an unprecedented sum in damages at the High Court. At the start of a landmark action, the court heard that the article involving a sado-masochistic session the 68-year-old enjoyed with five women was "humiliation of the highest order" and had "devastated" his life.

Mr Mosley, the son of 1930s Fascist leader Sir Oswald Mosley, told the High Court that there "was not even a hint" of Nazi behaviour in the session. "I can think of few things more unerotic than Nazi role play", he told Mr Justice Eady at the start of his ground-breaking breach of privacy action against the News of the World. "It also has associations for me in other ways which would make it even less interesting. "All my life, I have had hanging over me my antecedents, my parents, and the last thing I want to do in some sexual context is be reminded of it. "I wouldn't consider my parents to be Nazi but there is obviously a link." Asked if he saw any Nazi aspect to what the newspaper called a "sick Nazi orgy" he said: "Absolutely not." "There was not even a hint of that - certainly not in my mind and, I'm convinced, not in the minds of any of the other participants. It simply didn't arise."

James Price, acting for Mr Mosley said that the president of the Federation Internationale de l'Automobile (FIA) had accepted that he had been interested in corporal punishment and S and M since "quite a young age". "It's not a surprise to me or to others who don't live in an ivory tower or a monastery or, I am sure, to your lordship, that to learn that quite a lot of people, men and women, have a fascinated interest in this sort of thing." He said advertisements for such activity were commonplace, and referred to an occasion when he had to tell his wife she was a little naive when she drew his attention to a classified ad involving "seats caning", as they needed some chairs mending. "Grown ups, men and women, are perfectly used to the fact that human tastes in sexual matters are almost infinitely variable and what other people like to do, if it's not what you like to do yourself, is remarkable. "To think about what other people, or worse to look at pictures of what other people do, can provoke disgust." He said that it was an affront to dignity, even to think too closely about what other people did - whether they were young, old, disabled or homosexual - as it was no-one else's business. "The News of the World, we say, is out of touch with the instincts of decent British people in this respect. "I say with confidence that the great mass of British people, of News of the World readers, are tolerant and broadminded. "They think what people do in private is their own affair so long as it does not involve corrupting children or the young or exploiting vulnerable people by reason of mental incapacity or economic need... there is nothing of that kind here. "Most people will disapprove of conduct which is dangerous...there is nothing of that kind here. "Most people probably think S and M behaviour - spanking, bondage, whipping, role play like doctors and nurses, sheikhs and harems, guards and prisoners - is harmless and private and even funny."

The News of the World coverage showed the naked Mr Mosley being spanked by one of the women with a whip, as well as using a strap to spank a woman. Mr Price QC, said the story which appeared in March with accompanying photos and film on the newspaper's website, was a "gross and indefensible intrusion" on his private life. He told Mr Justice Eady in London it was made substantially worse by the "shocking and entirely false" suggestion that the events depicted involved Mr Mosley - the son of the 1930s Fascist leader Sir Oswald Mosley - playing a concentration camp commandant and a cowering death camp inmate. "This trial is not a forum to debate the evils or otherwise of Sir Oswald Mosley. The only point is that the sins of the father cannot justly be visited on Mr Mosley, who was born at a time when the British Union of Fascists was simply a memory," said Mr Price.He suggested that, given the entire absence of any Nazi aspect to the events, it was the Mosley association which drove the story. "If it had been about Bernie Ecclestone, it would not have been a 'sick Nazi orgy'," said Mr Price. He described the News of the World as a "peeping Tom". "To hide a listening device or hidden camera in someone's bedroom in order to spy on them having sex violates a basic human taboo," he said. Mr Price added: "The claimant's life has been devastated by the reports. The humiliation is of the highest order."

Mr Mosley is claiming breach of privacy and the action includes an unprecedented claim in such a case for exemplary or punitive damages as well as compensatory damages.

The News of the World strongly contests the claim and will argue that publication was justified in the public interest.

The case continues.

See also
Art of spanking at sex academy
What is BDSM
Sex, Drugs and Cameron
F1 boss Max Mosley loses fight to keep sex video from web
Sex addiction: The facts from the fruity fiction 

Readers please email comments to: editorial AT martinfrost.ws including full name

Note: martinfrost.ws contains copyrighted material, the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available to our readers under the provisions of "fair use" in an effort to advance a better understanding of political, economic and social issues. The material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving it for research and educational purposes. If you wish to use copyrighted material for purposes other than "fair use" you must request permission from the copyright owner.